Dating Tips for Men - eHarmony

ince the 1960s, our roles in the dating world have shifted dramatically. These changes have been great, but they’ve also left many of us unsure about common dating etiquette and practices. The dating world isn’t so clear cut anymore.

Our eH+ clients often ask us who should be the pursuer in a relationship. There are all kinds of ideas out there about both men’s and women’s roles when it comes to finding love.
Some experts advocate for complex rules that dictate who can be proactive in initiating communication with the opposite sex. They believe that men should be pursuing women, and men should be doing the asking out and initiating interactions that move the relationship further.
The problem with rules like this is that they no longer work. They are leaving both men and women unfulfilled when it comes to love. They also no longer fit into the flow of how the world operates. Outside of dating, men and women are being proactive in their lives when it comes to careers, social groups, finances, parenting, family relationships, etc. It is totally unnatural to do something completely different when it comes to your love life.
The short answer is that any person, man or woman, who is interested in another individual should feel comfortable making a move, or even the first few moves. Being proactive is a success skill and mindset that will serve you in any area of life.
In all of this, both people should be initiating contact and responding to the other person’s communication. The secret is to be proactive in initiating contact mixed with taking a step back to give the other person a chance to make the effort of pursuing you as well.
If you are the ONLY person in pursuit, the other person is likely not interested.
Warning signs that you are the only one being proactive:

1. You are constantly reaching out via text or phone and they are only responding on a limited or infrequent basis.
2. The relationship is not progressing through the natural stages. You are not meeting the important people in their life.
3. They want to spend less and less time with you.
4. They keep blaming their busy schedule as the reason why you two can’t get together.
5. You only get together on their terms.

If someone is showing these warning signs of not being interested in you, they are likely not your most compatible partner. You deserve to be with someone who wants to spend time with you and get to know you. You want a partner who is genuinely interested in giving a relationship with you a chance.